Change

So...I'm back.  I know it's been a few months, but at least it hasn't been years.  So just to update you on life.  I am now married and have been for a couple of months.  I decided not to post consistently throughout the planning process because I was pretty overwhelmed, but in hindsight there are a few roller coasters that no on mentions.  The biggest culprit--- post wedding planning.  My husband and I decided not to do a honeymoon and to save our funds for something more important and valuable like a home. The most difficult hurdle to jump after our nuptials was changing my last name the entire process (which began way before wedding day) was an emotional one to say the least.  Deciding IF I was going to change my name, was like nothing I'd ever done before.  I'd ask myself: Am I betraying my family/my father?  The man whose last name I carried for the first 28 years of my life.  My Aunt Phyllis, who named me at birth and who reminds me that I called myself TyShantay for many of my little girl years.  Am I relinquishing my identity?  Everyone who knows me knows Tychier Young and all my life's experiences and accomplishments have been attached to that name because, well, simply put, it's who I am.

After spending long nights talking to my husband about my hesitance, he reassured me that my last doesn't determine his love for me, (though he did make it a point to let me that his preference is for me to carry his last name in some way).  After considering all things, I answered "no" to all those questions.  The next step was deciding to what and when to change my name.  Would I prefer to be drop my maiden name completely and keep my middle name? Change my middle name to my maiden name? Or, keep my full name and hyphenate my last name?  Everyone I spoke with had something different to say about what they would do or did.  My ultra feminist friends were like keep your last name.  Some were suggested that the reverse hyphenation sounded best. Most were like do whatever the hell you want! Who knew it would be so challenging? So, finally after a week of deliberating, I went online and filled out and printed paperwork for the three options I'd given myself to take to the Social Security Administration (SSA), placed them into a manila envelope where I carried them for another full week.  We established a day to drive over, Monday, October 26th.  During that week of processing it all, I decided that my name doesn't change the person I am and that I would like my husband randomly select my new name from the forms I'd prepared.  After an hour-long wait, I heard the representative call my number (one that I thought had been reassigned to someone else after speaking with the first person), so I sat there.  Then, I hear Mrs. Young, and we approached the desk, handed him my materials and told Tyrell to make a selection, and there it was.  Simple, right? Wrong.  Everything at the SSA went well, and I received my new card in less than a week.  The next obstacle is figuring out all other business and organization where an information update is required: DMV, human resources, everyone service you purchase, the insurance companies, etc. By the way, insurance company gave me a discount for being married! :)  I am still adjusting to my username change: from youngts to nickenty (my boss says every time she sees it she thinks "persnickety") Lol!

The name change makes me reminisce about when I was always last to do everything in school because my last name was at the end of the alphabet.  Then, I think of how things would have been different if I'd grown up with my new last name.  <----Random!

On the brighter side, we have been discussing relocating, home buying, growing our family, and retirement a heap more than usual.  I had baby fever for about a month after we wed.  My goodness I was a mess, oooing and aaaahing at every little person I saw, watching videos of them, researching names and their meanings, and reading pregnancy blogs every chance I could.  I eventually ventured more toward preparing for a family financially and emotionally then to just enjoying us in the process.  I found out some great news in the process!  Two of my bridesmaids are expecting a couple of weeks apart actually!  The kicker is they both were pregnant during the wedding and didn't know.  I can't express my excitement for them enough.  One of them (Ciera) just began a blog about her life and pregnancy, and I am too thrilled!

Well, I've started to ramble a little and this post has gotten a little out of hand, so I'm going to call it.  'Til next time!  Pics from the wedding to come!